LIFEBUSHIDO

If you’re like me, you may be reading this secret, Become Love, and thinking“ what does that mean?” It sounds impossible, if you really think about it - how can we become an emotion? To understand what becoming love means, we’ll have to first define love.

The word ‘love’ is grossly overused in our culture. We are often heard saying, “I love this chocolate cake,” and we refer to loving baseball and tell people we love the color purple. These are examples of love as an emotion. The love we’re referring to in this secret of success is more of a choice, an act, an intentional way of looking at the world and of being. In choosing to be a loving person, you will discover an important secret to living a happy and purposeful life - you will become love.

Living this secret requires that you first have the capacity to love yourself. Have you ever heard the expression “you can only give away what you already have yourself?” If you have no self love, or are limited in the ways you can truly love yourself, then you will be limited in the ways you can be loving to others. Please note: this self love is not about the narcissistic tendencies of putting yourself first in everything or spending hours praising yourself in front of the mirror (despite what our culture might model for us). It is fundamentally about making a choice to see ourselves as worthy, and is absolutely critical to being a spiritually healthy human being.

Do you believe you are a worthy person who has a healthy sense of love for yourself? Your thoughts will reveal what you really think - did you know that we have an average of 45,000-55,000 of them per day? Are yours predominantly positive or negative? Do you say, “I am a loser,” or, “I’ll do better next time,” when you fail at something? Do you tell yourself that you are fat or unattractive, or do you see your unique features as an asset? If you find that you are having a lot of negative thoughts, begin to retrain yourself by intentionally complimenting yourself as often as you can. Replace the negative with the positive. The change in your attitude and demeanor will be marked.

Secondly, becoming love is about making it a top priority to love others - even if there are things about them that aren’t perfect, or are even downright unloveable. We cannot control how others feel about us, or whether we will receive love from other people, but we can control whether to give love to the people in our lives.

Also, avoid placing too much value on things in your life, which can take your focus off of relationships. If we choose to create loving relationships with others and make time for deep connection with others, we will find happiness.

The final step to becoming love is showing love in all of our interactions - with ourselves, with those we love, and with all who we encounter. This includes the cashier at the grocery store, the drivers on the freeway, and the homeless man on the street that you pass on your way to a lunch date. Not all of the people you encounter during your day will be kind to you, but, nevertheless, becoming love means making a conscious choice to see everyone with kindness and worth, regardless of the way they treat you. When we look upon others with kindness, we are more likely to see it, and when we give love to others, we are likely to see it returned.

Take an inventory for yourself right now. Do you love yourself? Take steps to make this a reality. Do you make it a priority to show love to your family and friends? Find ways to give love to them every day. Do you show kindness to all of the people around you? Focus on the bigger picture, and begin becoming love.